Scout Read online

  To round off this exhibition of the bizarre, and give one final refutation to anyone who might wish to claim that their situation is too insurmountable to follow their dreams, I spent thirty-two years without sleep. A horse kicked me on the left temple when I was four, which damaged the Hypoglossal nerve that opens throat muscles when taking a breath while sleeping or unconscious. This was not known at the time; so as a result, whenever I tried to sleep, I could not breathe until my blood oxygen level depleted, and my brain would wake my body enough to take a few breaths.

  At age 36, technology finally caught up, and I was properly diagnosed, confirming that, for those three decades, I never slept more than a minute or so, certainly not long enough to enter a REM dream state. I've been treated successfully with a type of respirator, but I'm still not sure about the whole dreaming experience. The brain is a wonderful thing, and given half a chance, finds ways around even the most extreme conditions and barriers. Through these experiences, I believe I have more access to my subconscious thoughts, feelings, and processes than most.

  As a further example of the power of determination, I experienced a stroke which caused temporarily loss of the power of speech and the ability to write with my dominant hand, and still experience extreme headaches when trying to type, especially while creating fiction. Along with several physical mobility challenges, which I won't go into here, that was perhaps the lowest point of my life. Between the dogged determination of my Aspie nature and the multiple viewpoints of my multiple personalities, I experimented with voice-to-text software, and this book is testament to that success.

  Before the explosion of e-publications, none of this would have been possible as the mainstream publishing industry would never take a chance on something so far out from the ordinary, but then again, my intended audience is not ordinary, rather extraordinary. For the more visually imaginative among you, I have a gallery of several hundred works of digital art that I use as a secondary outlet of expression and internal dialogue, at https://veguitarat.deviantart.com/gallery/. Once again, the purpose of posting what amounts to a personal journey is to encourage others to find their own outlets. Now, go be inspired, or at least entertained.

  (As a final note, this story has a special place in my heart. I began writing Scout over thirty years ago, intending it to be a full novel. It was not until I stumbled across my diagnosis and explored both my limitations and my talents that I adapted them to this format. That choice has resulted in five more anthologies in four years as of this writing, and many more are queued up in my head. Adapt and overcome, then follow your dreams. --Bob Kite)

  ~end~